Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I want a musical about memes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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