Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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