My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
