Duck Duck Cougar?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
