you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
