Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
only if we run a train.
done.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
