go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
