Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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