Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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