we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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