2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
