i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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