that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
