i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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