Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
