It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
