if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
