The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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