thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
