You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
