I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
