Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
