Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
