We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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