What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
