I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
