Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
