Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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