i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize