we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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