piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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