She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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