I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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