I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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