If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
