It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
