she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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