I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who died my cat blue again?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
