I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
