everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
