I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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