I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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