I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
