so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
