I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
