OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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