So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize