She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just gargled with NyQuil
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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