how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
