just tell him i said nine months
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
