It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
