Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
