i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
