the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The ass gains better be worth it
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