I feel like abortions should bother me more
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
