She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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