i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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