all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
