D3 body, D1 cock
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
