dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
