new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
