Redeem this text for a blowjob
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize