I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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