As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
smell my finger.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
