Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
