if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
