Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
