I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
